Finding a Therapist
IPSA refers clients to therapists who have expertise in Surrogate Partner Therapy. Please contact the IPSA Referral Coordinator to request a referral in your area.
Because there are many parts of the world that do not have experts in Surrogate Partner Therapy, IPSA offers the following additional suggestions for locating therapists in your area who specialize in treating clients with sexual concerns and/or difficulties with intimate relationships. Once you reach a therapist by phone or email it is perfectly acceptable to interview them about their education, experience, methods of treatment, fees, and whether they work with surrogate partners.
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Some ways to find therapists:
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Look online and in local directories for “counseling,” “psychology,” “psychotherapy,” “marriage counseling,” “sex therapy,” and “sexuality counseling.” Some therapist listings will indicate a specialty in sex therapy. This may be a good indicator of special knowledge, but not all advertisements are honest or complete. Not all therapists with training in human sexuality advertise as sex therapists. You do not need to restrict yourself to only calling therapists who mention sex therapy. It is in your best interests, however, to inquire about the therapists’ experience and training regarding the types of concerns you wish to address in therapy. As an example, PsychologyToday.com allows you to search for therapists in your region and to filter by their areas of specialty, types of insurance they accept, language spoken, etc. Surrogate Partner Therapy is not one of the filter options.
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Request referrals to therapists and counselors in your area from organizations whose members are sex therapists and counselors. When making your request, be sure to mention that IPSA recommended that you contact them, mention the larger cities in your vicinity, and/or the larger towns/cities to which you are willing to travel for therapy. Some sex therapist organizations:
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The American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT)
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The Society Sex Therapy and Research (SSTAR)
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The American Board of Sexology ​
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Not all therapists are willing to work with surrogate partners and only a few parts of the world have local surrogate partners. If you believe that working with a surrogate partner will be the best therapeutic option for you, ask the therapists you contact:
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Do they work with surrogate partners (sometimes called sex surrogates)?
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Are they open to working with you and a surrogate partner (if they agree this is an appropriate course of treatment for you)? (IPSA provides consultations and education for therapists if they prefer to learn more before deciding.)
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Are they aware of any IPSA-certified surrogate partners working in your area?
If they are not open to working with you and a surrogate partner, you can ask whether they are able to provide a referral to other therapists who will work with Surrogate Partners. (Note: It is not uncommon for uninformed people including uninformed therapists to assume that there is something unethical and/or illegal about Surrogate Partner Therapy. Despite their good intentions, these assumptions are almost always incorrect.)
If you find a local therapist who is willing to supervise your work with a professional surrogate partner, IPSA can provide them with referrals to IPSA-certified surrogate partners or IPSA Interns residing in your area or who are willing to travel to your area to work with you and your local therapist. The IPSA Referral Coordinator and some IPSA members are willing to consult with therapists who want to learn more about Surrogate Partner Therapy. IPSA can also help to coordinate an Intensive Therapy Program for you in a different location. See the IPSA Intensive Therapy for more information about those options.
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